When Life Hands You Lemons… Add to Tequila And Swig

It has been a rough month or so. Weight loss stalled and then I got back into the swing of things and weight loss is back on track.

We were told that we would reach that point and we would need to work even harder. I have increased my daily walk and added weights (3 lb weights) to my workouts.

I see a whole different person when I pass a mirror. I have muscle tone and definition, clothes no longer fit, and I feel good about myself. People are finding it difficult to recognize me, which blows my mind. It has been about 9 years since I was this size.

I have been experiencing esophagus spasms when I eat, which in the beginning I thought was a heart attack. I’m hoping they will quit, if not, I have the nurse practitioner for the weight loss clinic, on speed dial and available by email.

Hopefully I will get to my 2nd weight weight loss goal now that I have reached my first one.

How are all of you doing on meeting your goals? What are you doing to reach them? What have you changed to meet them?


Four months and one week post surgery

It has been a while since I updated so here it is. I am just over 4 months post surgery and am down 60 pounds. I am fully recovered, walk for 30 minutes and workout 30 minutes each day. I try to eat 2/3 cup of food 6 times per day. My type 1 insulin dependent diabetes is under control, with my daily blood glucose in the single digits. My hemoglobin A1C, is just above 7 and I have cut my insulin dosages by nearly 70%. Overall, I am much healthier, happier and am noticing the physical changes my body is going through.

I am 51 lbs from my 2nd weight loss goal and 81 lbs from my final goal. I have set my date for the final goal, April 2016. With determination and sheer will power, I will reach my final goal. I am now looking at a future that will Include turning 70. I feared dying before I was 50, and without having had the surgery, changing my lifestyle, I was headed to certain death before I turned 50.

Even though it is raining, it is time for my walk. Until next time, I hope each of you will make just one small change in your lifestyle so that you become just that more healthy.

Seven weeks post surgery

I have been on mushy food now for 3 weeks. It has been hard going, teaching my “new” stomach to accept food that does not pour like milk. Squash and tuna were the two foods i wanted for my first foods. Squash was divine and tuna was mouthwatering. I tried sweet potato but no go there. Chicken breast, lean ground beef and sole fillets all seem to be fine. I am allergic to pork so not trying that on for size. I would love a slice of greasy oh so bad for you, pizza. I went for groceries yesterday. Managed to not buy bread, cookies, crackers, cereal, potatoes, french fries or potato chips. I still crave these things and i know that i am addicted to them, so each grocery shopping trip that i dont buy them is a success in my books. I am no longer consuming caffeine. That was a big addiction for me. Coffee i could drink upwards of 30 or more cups a day, tea was less than 10 cups a day. I am now drinking rooibos,decaffeinated and fruit teas. So, all in all, not too bad.

Twenty Six Days Post Surgery

Yes, you read my title correctly. I am 26 days post gastric sleeve surgery. It has been a whirlwind since January 14th, 2015, when I received the phone call giving me my surgery date, January 27th. I had to get some bloodwork done, see the hematologist, do the presurgery clinic with the anastegiologist, do my monthly appt with my family doctor, get my home organized, cook a ton of soup, get it blended and in the freezer, but I managed to get everything done.

My father and I left here, to make a 75 minute drive, at 230am, as we were waiting for a winter storm to hit, and we were worried about it hitting on our way, so we left with plenty of time to get to the hospital for a 6am intake appt, with a 730am surgery.

Everything went text book perfect, except the really bad low blood sugar an hour before surgery. However, shortly before I was put to sleep, the anastegiologis iv pushed dextrose and within seconds I was normal and surgery went ahead.

A couple hours later, I was in my hospital bed and on my way to being ready for the new me.

I spent 3 days in hospital, came home and have been losing weight steadily. On TTuesday february 24th, I get to advance from a liquid diet to mashed food. I am looking forward to some squash.

I Have My Surgery Date

I woke up yesterday morning to the most important phone message. Finally after years of waiting, multiple appointments, I have my surgery date. It is on January 27th. Starting today, I have 12 days to get a lot done. Blood work this morning, eye doctor this afternoon, hematology tomorrow, anesthesiologist pre-op clinic next week, liquid diet starting the 19th, clear liquid on the 26th, surgery the 27th. I have a lot of soup to cook this weekend, need to get my apartment spic and span.

I am so excited, nervous, anxious but looking forward to living until I am old. Without this surgery, I will not get to see my beautiful nieces get married, have families of their own. I do not want to die when I am 50, like my Mom did. I plan on having a long, happy, healthier life.

This has not been an easy journey

People look st me and I know that all they see is an obese woman. That is not who I am, it is what I am. The journey to being as obese as I am has not been an easy journey. I have for a long time, ate the wrong foods because they have flavour and because I was trying to suppress my negative emotions. Putting up a barrier so that no one could get a glimpse of the lonely, unloved person behind the barrier.

Growing up as the oldest child of four, my mom didn’t have enough time to give me the one on one attention I craved, so I turned to foofood and books. Food helped me bury my feelings and books took me to a different place where I could pretend the heroine of the book was me. I was also quite active as a teenager so my obesity was kept in check. As I got into adulthood, I became less and less active. My obesity became a struggle, a struggle I am now fighting so I can see my 50th birthday in ten years.

This brings me full circle to today. Soon I will be having the weight loss surgery that is going to save my life. I have already done more in the last 16 months than I have in the last 15 years. I have lost 53 pounds. It has not been easy. Without surgery, I will never be able to lose enough weight to be considered “overweight” which is what the weight loss surgery team has told me I will end up being.

I know that in 18 months I am going be a much smaller and healthier looking person. My weight has never, nor will it ever define me. I am an intelligent, loving, giving woman. I am obese but that is not who I am, it is just what I am.


After 14 months, numerous appointments with the weight loss surgery team, I thought I would get my surgery date. However, I was wrong (shocking I know!!!!). Even though I have been upfront and honest about what was/is going on inside my body, the surgeon did not feel that I was quite ready for surgery.

I need to see a hematologist before the surgery can be booked. Why you ask? Well this particular story begins in June 2013. I was struck down with bronchitis and lower extremity edema. After two months of suffering, and an evening thinking I was having a heart attack, I was transported to hospital via ambulance. I was admitted because my white blood cell count was more than triple of what it should have been. I had phnemonia, bronchitis, a cracked sternum, and then diagnosed pulmonary embolisms. PE are blood clots that, we believe began in my legs and travelled through my body, into my heart and then taking roost in my lungs. I was severely I’ll. Two days into my one week stay, the doctor suspected I had whooping cough, so into isolation I went. The week I spent hospitalized was not one of my favorite memories gut eventually I got better and now I am healthier than I have been in a long time. I have not (knock on wood) had bronchitis or a cold since then, but because I had/have not seen a hematologist for the PE’s, I am now waiting for an appointment with one before surgery can be booked.

I am still doing my workouts, eating properly, well, most of the time, I have decreased my coffee intake from 30 plus cups a day to one cup of black tea and only caffeine free, herbal teas the rest of the day. I have fallen off the bandwagon, so to speak with my smoking. It is easy to start smoking, but a bitch to give up. I will succeed in this challenging habit. It is my ultimate goal for life. I have managed to lose close to 50 lbs and continue to keep losing weight.

Hopefully the next blog entry will include an official surgery date. Until then, keep fighting to be a better and healthier you.

167 days

I am now at 167 days, minus a pack I bought a month or so ago. I have an e-cigarette, nicotine gum and just sheer will power to get through the worst of the temptations and carvings. With the summer I have had, I.e. sciatica, I am surprised I have not caved to having a joint or two.

I am slowly getting back into my workout routine, doing modifications of challenges posts. I am also getting out for a walk each day now that I have a decent pair of sneakers. I will be a healthier person, inside and out.

I want to watch my beautiful nieces grow up, graduate from college or university, find their one true love, get married and have families. If I do not have weight loss surgery and change or eliminate my bad habits, I will not see the age of 50, which is in just over 10 years.

I want to live, I need to live, I will live.

A Long Three and a Half Weeks!!

What a long and painful nearly four weeks. I either slipped a disk in my back or had a bulge occur, which caused three of the most painful weeks of my life. Sciatica!

I have not been able to workout, go for a walk or do anything that reqiured use of my right leg. Just this past Saturday, I finally felt well and strong enough to go for a walk. What a glorious 15 minutes. The sun high in the sky, my leg not hurting and I could breathe deeply.

Today is about getting some housework dobe, unpqcking my apartment as it was under renovation during the last two weeks. Tomorrow I am going to hit my gazelle running.

I hope you all have had a better month than I have. Ciao for now.

Slaying My Personal Dragon

We all have our own personal dragons that neec slaying. For me, it is my depression. There re days where just getting out of bed requires every ounce of fortitude that I have. All I want to do is sleep and hide from the world. When those days arrive, I don’t email or call anyone. I don’t do my workouts, I don’t pay attention to my diet. I do everything I can to sabotage the successes I have worked hard for.

Since giving up my smokng habit, I have found it harder and harder to fight my depression.  My go-to for when I just want to hide away is now no longer my crutch. Finding a different, healthier, satisfying habit is difficult. I have tried carrots, apples, anything that keeps my mouth occupiex but still nothing that gives me quite the same sensation.

Each day, I wake up, hoping that it will be the day that I don’t want a cigarette, but after79 days, I still find it difficult. All I can do, is keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep on keeping on.