When I was first diagnosed as a Type 1 insulin dependent diabetic, I was told that I had to eat six small meals a day. That went well for a few years but then I started “choking” on food when I tried to swallow anything other than fluid.
For several years I suffered in silence because it can be embarrassing not being able to swallow food. At a 4 course, sit down, formal wedding dinner, with me as the maid of honour, I choked on the chicken and mashed potatoes. It was at that point that I decided it was time to seek medical help.
I was living in Ottawa at the time and my doctor said it was psychosomatic, meaning that my body tells me that I need to eat for nourishment but my mind tells me that I can’t eat because I need to lose weight. This is a mental disorder that most female diabetics go through, where they don’t eat, then eat a lot or deliberately take less insulin needed to control blood sugar levels. The actual terminology is Diabulimia . This works but only in the short term, with the long term effects,however, are not worth it. Going blind, kidney failure, and in some cases, death.
I chose life but at the cost of my kidneys. I now face an uncertain future, will my kidneys fail completely or will the damage reverse itself with proper eating and lifestyle habits? No more taking less insulin than needed, no more gorging myself until I want to vomit, no more starving myself. I am now on the road to better eating habits. I still find it difficult to swallow at times but biting into and chewing a piece of apple helps. It gets the throat muscles working and produces saliva to make food slide down easier.
Maybe one day I will be able to look back on these tough years and be thankful for getting through them. They have made me stronger and better. A small word of advice, never ever, fall into the bad habit of not eating properly as a diabetic, no matter if it is type 1, type 2 or gestational.
A Long Day's Journey Into LIFE 